They say Scotland is a land of immeasurable beauty, inspiring history, and immense wit. To get a glimpse of the first two, you can watch Braveheart. But to experience the third, you can simply go on Twitter—some people even say Scottish Twitter is arguably the nation's finest export. I know, you think it's scotch, but scroll through this list and then we'll talk.
The subreddit r/ScottishPeopleTwitter has been making headlines online since its creation in 2015. It started by collecting tweets like "maw bought aldi shower gel that smells like fairy liquid so I've been cutting about all day smelling like a f**ing plate" and "Can live wi paying 5p for one but am sick of having to f**in light the beacons of Gondor to summon someone anytime I want a bag in Asda" and quickly grew into a 700K-member community, enjoying a good laugh when they see one.
#1 We All Need A Little Confidence Boost
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#2 Mask Up, Ya Bams
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#3 Clever Cat
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#4 What Windows?
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#5 Our Currency Is The Best!
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#6 Xmas Miracle
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#7 We Love Arbroath
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#8 What Freedom Is Aw Aboot
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#9 On The Bus
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#10 Our Government
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#11 Wholesome
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#12 Well That’s Us Screwed
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#13 Ye Goin For A S***e Hen?
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#14 He's Been Well Done There
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#15 Quick Take On The Scottish Play
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#16 And One For Yourself Bartender
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#17 Vegan Scottish Cuisine
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#18 Very Fair Point
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#19 Maccies
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#20 Mad Stoater
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#21 Yer Da Does The Washing
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#22 Pizza Time
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#23 Genitals!
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#24 Da-Da-Da-Da!
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#25 Platinum Next X
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#26 Frankie Doesn't Care
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#27 Fair Enough
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#28 Life, Eh, Finds A Way
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#29 Scottish Clothes Shops
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#30 Eloquently Put
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#31 Stating The Obvious
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#32 Fs John, Too Soon
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#33 Just To Be Safe...
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#34 It's That Easy
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#35 Shavin A Tattie
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#36 Absolute Fact
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#37 A Record To Be Proud Of
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#38 True Happiness
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#39 Coronavirus Arrives In Scotland
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#40 Goths Are A Dying Breed
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#41 Wean's First Tooth
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#42 He’s Gonna Go Far
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#43 Something Not Right About That Soap
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#44 A Junkie's Wisdom
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#45 Yer No Meant To Eat The Parts Separately
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#46 Another Breed Of Spastic
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#47 Dilf Hunter
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#48 A Massive Lad
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#49 ✌️✌?✌?✌?✌?✌?
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#50 Big Note
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#51 Half Pizza Crunch Supper
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#52 Screw The Tories
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#53 Cheers Gran
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#54 Where Are You From?
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#55 Absolutely Out Of It
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#56 Dont Want To Piss Off The Scottish
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#57 Didnae Get Far Did Ye
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#58 Hunner Percent
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#59 10/10
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#60 Too Right
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#61 I Think Frankie’s Onto Something
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#62 Absolute Unit
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#63 Who The F*** You Talkin Tae
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#64 It’s Tradition
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#65 The Force Is Strong In This Wan
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#66 Double Scottish
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#67 All Those Hypotheticals
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#68 Outstanding Patter
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#69 Good Tae Know
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#70 Aye, Ye Pair Ay Bampots
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#71 Exam Advice
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#72 Gotta Love Scottish Patter
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#73 Birds Could Prolly Swim In Lava And Be Fine
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#74 These Flowers Are A Mystery
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#75 We Used To Be Accountants Really
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#76 Hotland
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#77 Too *old* Tae Vote, That’s Yer Problem
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#78 Aye
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#79 Absolute Genius
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#80 Clean Up On Aisle 4
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#81 Good Luck At School Today
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#82 Manbat
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#83 Two Faced C**ts
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#84 Who's The Lucky Girl?
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#85 Worky Dug
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#86 Suns Oot Mirrors Oot
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#87 Scottish Panda
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#88 Proud As Punch
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#89 Sex Is Sacred
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#90 Ye Ma Takes Length
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#91 At Least They Voted!
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#92 Can’t Beat A Fathers Jokes
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#93 Lightning Lizzie
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#94 8 Year Olds...
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#95 Aye Just A Wee Side Note
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#96 Would Be An Absolutely Class Idea To Be Fair
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#97 Scottish Schools Are Where Girls Get Pregnant And Where Boys Go To Sell Drugs (I Should Know I Went To Armadale Academy)
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#98 Ye Nugget
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#99 Nevermind X
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#100 Good Thinking Wee Man
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#101 In Case Someone Forgot This Masterpiece
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#102 Absolute Roaster
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#103 You Still There?
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#104 Brick That Thing
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#105 I Remember My First Bus Journey
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#106 Uncle Dug
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#107 Glasgoths
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#108 Pretending Aye?
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#109 Wouldn't Expect Any Less From A Soulless Ginger
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#110 Best. Dad. Ever
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#111 Merry Christmas Everyone
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#112 Dexter The Dug
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#113 Being A Dad Has Its Perks
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#114 ‘Hink That’s Fair Enough
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#115 Solid Plan
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#116 My Wee Angle
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#117 Local Bouncer / Door Steward In Ma Town Making The Best Of A Bad Situation By Providing The Giggles
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#118 Papa Can You Hear Me?
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#119 Smirnoff Ice
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#120 Too Wee, Too Poor, Too Stupid
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#121 Life Must Be Good Being A Dug
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#122 It Honestly Is Ridiculous How Long They Left
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#123 Sounds More Like The 30!
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#124 Meanwhile In Edinburgh...
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#125 You’ll Pay Him For It N All
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#126 "Av Not Got Dementia"
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#127 Speeding Ostrich
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#128 Oompa Loompa, Do-Ba-Dee-Doo
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#129 Honesty's The Best Policy
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#130 Shame
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#131 Constant Struggle
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#132 Gonnae No Call Me That
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#133 Ye Gotta Draw The Line Mumwhere
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#134 Beautiful
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#135 Sair Heid?
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#136 Just Subbed Tae Isis
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#137 Ya Tube
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#138 Guys Dont Use Tinder It's Crap
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#139 Busted
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#140 Old But Gold
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#141 Fishsticks
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#142 She Was Lucky
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#143 Happy Birthday To Big J
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#144 Security To Get A Munch
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#145 A Wee Fanny
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#146 This Is Madness
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#147 Expectations vs. Reality
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#148 Some Good Financial News!
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#149 Thats No Hapnin
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#150 The Rare, Understandable Scottish Men
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